Yes, my little chickadees, the Bush Administration has managed to protect America from a horrible swarthy terrorist menace. Why, this terrorist is so evil, so demented, so horrifically dangerous, that he might... he might... vaccinate our children against horrible diseases!
Yep, that's right, he's a DOCTOR. And you know that those doctors are evil, especially the Commie ones from Cuba who have developed cheap vaccines (which might, uhm, DECREASE BIG PHARMA'S PROFITS! Horrors!). After all, what do you find in a doctor's office? That's right, SICK PEOPLE! Why are sick people always found wherever you find a doctor? It's because doctors are all evil!
Boy, I'm relieved that our Department of Homeland Security and U.S. State Department are working so hard and diligently to protect us against evil doctors. Why, I haven't felt so safe since the Reagan administration protected us from evil Nobel-prize-winning authors who were obviously intent upon destroying America! For your benefit, I hereby summarize the Bush health care plan:
- Kill all the doctors, because doctors cause sick people.
- If people insist upon getting sick without a doctor's help, take them out to the back 40, dig a hole six foot deep by six foot long by three foot wide, shoot them in the head, and bury their sorry carcasses.
- Badtux the Snarky Penguin